5/12/24

song of the day - Birthday Cake - Cibo Matto

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! i turn sixteen. its crazy to think already a year has passed since my last birthday... and that ill be a JUNIOR next year! time really flies. i think this past year has been really fun and ive really loved a lot of it :-) but also i think that right now my life is going in a really good direction and im super excited to see what's gonna change this year !!! today i got some fun drinks and went to a reuse store with my family, and then pracitced driving for a little !!! we also went to goodwill !! and then yesterday i went to the city with friends to visit a big CD store and also have a picnic :-) it was really fun, but i thought it'd be warmer... it was so cold and windy :( i got a bunch of really nice stuff from them, and it was just really fun!!! theyre all so sweet ♥ i also found a nice remaster of Only a Lad by Oingo Boingo, so i had to get it !!! i also got a miffy tote bag from my girlfriend (and also a sonny angel and a dog plush that i named Schmawg), my friend gave me a framed image of the mulch dog (thanks...?) and my other friend got me a CD too!!! it was really fun and im glad i have them (my frineds,..) ♥ ♥ ♥

other than that,, on thursday i got acai bowls with my old friend from middle school, and then we spent like 45 minutes at a crystal shop... the owners offered us chai tea and it was really hot and spicy... i drank it though!!! i did end up getting home super late (8PM!!) but i then embroidered some cargo shorts to wear the next day :-) pretty sure Friday i just went over to my girlfriends house, and then had to call my mom to pick me up since my bus got canceled...

im super excited for my permit, im getting it on may 31st!! not so excited for finals, but i have some fun final projects im working on !! also i have an information session for a volunteer spot i wanna ddo,, i think that's this thursday (?) also sometime this month i have an appointment with my endocrinologist, and then the week of the 26th is my school's camping trip... so a lot of stuff is gonna happen in a short amount of time... i jsut need to get through this month... ougg

not all of my birthday gifts got here in time,, so over the next week or two (?) ill be getting stuff in the mail... super excited to get a new binder... not sure waht else is coming though... hopefully not much since like im pretty sure i already got a lot... i hate getting too many things at once it makes me feel weird...

oh recently ive been getting into sElf!!! i listened to subliminal plastic motives like two weeks ago and now im already downloading their internet exclusive albums... theyre super good i definitely reccommend them... okay i need to go and do my english homweowkr now

5/2/24

song of the day - Walking My Cat Named Dog - Norma Tanega

ITS MAY!!!!!!!!!!!! this is my favorite month of the year.i love may!!!!!!! its my birth month!!!!! my birthday is may 12th!!!!!!!! my life is so crayzay... so much has happened that im forgetting to blog!

i started my drivers ed a couple days ago, im like 40% done with the online course and its going smoothly so far! my permit test is next friday, and im super exxxcited to start driving! i might pracitce driving on Saturday but it depends.. the forecast calls for rain so it might be dangerous... but im very very excited! im going to drive on a road trip this summer to my auant and uncles house so i thoguht that was a good way to get lots of practice hours!!! im so exicted i cant stop thinking ab it!!!

anyways for other stuff im actually starting 2 see a little change from hrt.. and umm.. its a little scary... but we R living! i think my life is going rlly well right now :-) great times ! tmmorrow im going to hang out with my girlfriend and this sunday is my friends birthday party@ and then next sunday is mine! i ahve some ideas but i havent relaly talked 2 my friends yet.... and also one of my friends is leavign the schhool after this year but she said she wants 2 hang out over the summer so thats good!!! im gonna miss her so much... :

im sad now.. goodbye

4/19/24

song of the day - The Poisonousness - They Might Be Giants feat. Robin "Goldie" Goldwasser

hi guysss its been a little bit... im at home right now... its friday afternoon... :-) always the best time of the week is right now! earlier in the week my mom had to fly to Dallas, TX for a little bit for a work trip, so me and my sibling were home alone for like 3 days :0 it was rpetty crazy... nothing really happened though.. the biggest change was that i had to get up an hour earlier 2 be able to make it to school on time (i had to take the bus, its like a 1h 20min trip ) and that was .. hard... but it was nice! the bus driver said goodmorning every day !!! for my audio production class i'm actually doing a podcast on the bus system for my city, and i'm finding out a lot about it ! its a pretty interesting topic but im notlooking forward 2 recording it... however! i have noticed my voice is starting to change now... the hrt is working.. yay ♥

okay now it's saturday! today i went to two goodwills, to donate some clothes and also to redeem my store credit, since i found a reciept in my wallet and it expired today :-) i bought a new belt for prom and also a mug for my sibling! im definitely excited for prom, but im honestly a little stressed, since my mother said i need to get black shoes :( i dont have any, and i dont want to wear converse like last year because theyre not platform... and now everyone wwould know im not actually 5'6 :( but other than that im super excited!!! definitely to actually wear like pants instead of last year...

anywayss umm yesterday my mom finally signed me up to get my permit!! the appointment is on may 10th, and then after that i'll start lessons :-) however my mom said i should start studying the DMV handbook even before that, so that'll probably be what ill do first... ive been begging her to let me get my permit because this summer we'll be going to oregon to visit family, and i really want to help out driving on the roadtrip!!! its a great way to get experience and if i drive half of the way id already have 1/8th of all my required hours done !!! im very excited!!!

another thing that ive been doing is working on my application for volunteering at a local space and science center!!! ive been wanting to volunteer for like two years, but there have never been open slots ... until i got the email about it earlier this week!!! yaay!!! im really excited, but ive been having a hard time answering osme of the application questions... sad!! i really want to do it but also at the same time im kind of nervious,, a lot of the work (well more like half) is about being a museum docent, and also the other part is working with strangers that you barely know,, and im bad at both of those things. BUT i think it'd look pretty good on college applications ... and also its a good way for me to get out of my comfort zone... this year ive been workingn on talking to more people and also like . just putting myself out there more without caring and i think this might be a good way to do that !!! anywasy the closing date for applications is may 3 and then we'll get an email if we're accepted sometime in late may :-) i should really be working on that rather than doing stuff here.. and i also need to do my french homework.. oh im also probably not going to do french class next year (YAAYAYAYYAYAYYAYYAYYAYAYYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) because 1. my only friend in that class is leaving 2. ive fufilled my language requirements for graduating and 3. i dont liek it :( the teacher makes me sad... however she did ask me like two days ago if i was depressed ,, so i know she doesnt mean to be mean... i talked to my advisor and she jst said i might jst have a 'resting sad face' (millenials... omg) and i think shes right .. or its the autism . or something i might actually be depressed ! thats what the doctor said. theyve been saying that for years though and ive been fine

anyways ! i think tommorrow i;ll practice driving again and then finish my french homework.. and work on my project for audio production... i relaly really need to finish that.. GOD! okay i need to have dinner now goodbye

4/11/24

song of the day - Now That I Have Everything - They Might Be Giants

hi guys! what a day! On monday there was a solar eclipse for the united states (?) so my math class ended early so evveryone could go out on the patio and look at it! in my state the moon only had 20% coverage of the sun, but it was still pretty cool to see!! i went to my orthodontist that evening and we then drove 30 minutes to the nearest Dairy Queen..... my mom was craving it ever since we bought some in Michigan.... Tuesday i jst had a normal day.... got my they might be giants flood tour shirt in the mail !!! its a bit small but i like it nonetheless!! it still made me a bit sad... i also started a new song that day but i havent had time to work on it today!!! trying to get an ep or album started.... i did mostly finish my last album but im not sure ab releasing it... i like it and all but it might be a later thing to release... or maybe postmortem haha

wednesday i had pizza for lunch with my friends and got really upset because i started like getting too in my head,,, you guys know how that can be... then that evening was my first therapy sesh since before special programs, so that was a lot to catch up on! he reccommended checking out michigan state for colleges since i have family there... and TBH im kind of considering it! it seems like a pretty good school and id still be moving out of state,,, its super crazy that im actually starting to prepare for going to college, it seemed like only yesterday that i was applying for my high school.... wow! time just goes so fast. aslo! this website is two years old. i missed the birthday because i was in greece... happy birthday! its around the same age as my neice!

today was pretty awesome! it was theatre day at my school, so we went to see The Far Country at our local theatre! it was a really cool play, albeit a bit intense... but i understand why given the subject... its about the chinese exclusion act and paper sons, its pretty interesting if you wanna check it out! anyways one of my best friends finally showed up to school after being in texas for the eclipse! i really missed her! we talked and it was great :-) it was the first time in a little while i felt like i belonged with the people around me !!! :-) but afterwards i went to emiilys (my girlfriend!) house and i met a lot of her neighbors because one of her neighbors dog is getting put to sleep so everyone came together to give him one last walk... it was sad circumstance but everyone seemed relaly nice! we got sushi from the local supermarket afterwards! what a great day :-) other than having to do my t-shot... but that wasnt as bad as it used to be,.... smiles... goodbye for now

4/7/24

song of the day - Ondine - They Might Be Giants

hii ! i went to michigan last week to visit family :-) it was fun, and i got to learn a lot about my bio mom;s side of the family ! it was also really painful, because there was a lot of stuff in the past that i had to talk about, my bio mom's death was one of the hardest things ive had to go through and having to face her family who had knew her for way longer than i had was jst hard... i got a bunch of gifts and stuff my grandmother had bought me during the time i wasnt able to talk to her (my dad's fault, he wouldnt let us talk to our moms side of the family probably out of grief from my mom) (which doesn't make it okay) and we had to bring an extra suit case... it was from 2016- 2021, which was a while... we also visited my mom's headstone, which i didnt know existed... and i got some old letters and things she had... this year will mark 10 years since her passing by next month, so ill have to find some way to commemorate it! anyways this week has been fun but really hard, i'm glad to be back home now :-)

its crazy it's already april,,, since ive been traveling almost nonstop for three weeks, i haven't had a lot of time to draw or really do anything... now that i'm back though im very excited to make a lot more stuff!! i got a lot of inspiration while away :-) i want to try doing more drawing , especially subjects that im not really used to... that means no more self portraits or TMBG fanart.... sigh... wow ive used so many elipsies... i didnt spell that right. anyways not much else to talk about! missed the solar eclipse by like a day... good bye'

3/20/24-3/29/24

go check out my page about my trip to greece!

3/16/24

song of the day - South - Quannnic

HIII!!! its been sucha crazy week,...,, well yesterday was the craziest day so far.... yesterday was a field day thing for my school, and also the last 'school day' until special programs and spring break started! soo that means that i wouldn't see anyone from my school until after sprign break (april 8) which is three weeks! it was held at a beach park thingy, but me and my mom got there like super early so i asked her if i could practice driving at a nearby abandoned naval base... my dad used 2 tell me that he would teach me where to drive there when i was younger, and it's also the perfect location! it was empty, with a lot of flat concrete to practice! she let me,, and it was really fuN!! i still need to work on which button is for which turn signal,,, and also stopping and starting... but it was my first time so i think i did pretty well!!! after, the event started, and i was in a knitting workshop so i worked on making a poppy from a booklet that they had... at the beach park there was also a little free aquarium, so me and my friends went there :-) there was even this little crawlspace you could go into and it was like a little hangout space that was about 3/4 ft tall!! it was meant for toddlers, but we managed to fit like 4 people in there ... it was really smelly though.. anyways afterwards there was like a meeting thing about the different special programs (theres different groups, so mine was talking about like suitcase dimensions and stuff for the airline we're taking).. the latter half of the day we were supposed to do a sandcastle building competition, but me my gf and our 2 friends left and walked for a little while up the park and laid down on a towel on the beach ☺ it was a really beaufitul day, and really warm and windy which it hasnt been for months... when we got back, most people had left and our friend was aksing us where we were.. i felt kind of bad bc she seemed mad at us :( but ill be sure to text her during vacation though!!

afterschool me and my girlfriend (emily) went to a concert together! we saw yeule, with blimp, midrift, jane remover, and quannnic also preforming!! it was a really long concert, and we were there for literally FOUR HOURS. before we had gotten tacos at her favorite taco place though! anyways the concert was so fun, the drummer for blimp was a little .. unhinged though but i thought they were rlly cool! the bassist also had this cool little charm on her bass and now i wanna put something like that on mine.. midriftw as also cool too, some people had started a moshpit really close to wehre we were, so we had also gotten in.. it was kind of gross but it was super fun to just dance and shove peopel (that sounds so stupid but honestly its rlly cathartic) and i got hit in the face twice and once in the neck (i got a nosebleed and i think i got some of my blood on people,,,sorry if i stained YR shirt T_T) jane remover and quannnics set was also so fun, we were all running in circles and during South it was rlly fun (and its also my favorite song by him i think ☺) halfway through yeules set we left because my ribs started really hurting, and saw jane remover and quannnic leaving!! we tried to get a picture but they said they had to go... em was so happy because jane had talked to us outside and told us safe travels and she loves her :-) but yeag yesterday was super fun and i think i want to go to more shows like that because theyre realy fun!! i did scuff my brown shoes so much that the toes turned almost white... don't wear nice docs there...

anywayss today i'm mostly going to be preparing for my trip, i leave on wednesday so ill probably blog one more time before i leave, but ill be gone all thorugh the 29th so i wont do anythign hhere! hopefully we dont crash 🙏 im super nervous to fly international but hopefully itll be great!! ok bye!!

3/8/24

song of the day - I'm sick of this American life - They Might Be Giants

good morning... its been a crazy week guys,,, crazay.... umm IDK what to say to you people.... i have been trying to listen to a lot more music altely but it is pretty hard... i have a longgg list about it though so i amNOT takign recommendations! actually nevermind if you want me to liten to analbum u can tell me......... i have a few ones im planning onlistening to soon but i need to be strategic about it... i leeave the country in 12 days so i;m plannng onlistenign to a coupel abums during my trip then.. and also after when im in michigan.. its so crazy how fasttimem flies liek i feel likemarch is over befroe it even started... but I think that it will be fine... this week has been really boring but also horrible... tommorrow i am going to my neices 2nd birthday party (not that shes had two this year but she is turnign 2 years old) wow! i remember when she was like just born... its so crazy to think that she'll be my age one day.... oh man....

im in english class now .. im waiting for my girlfriend to finish reviewing my essay so i can revise it... i don;;t think its that long but i have nothing to do... OMG my mother just sent me a link about a local thrift store having a sale tommorrow... i want to go shopping soo badly for my Greece trip but unfortunately tommorrow i have to go to a lunch for my neice... but hopefully i can before my trip ☺ i am super nervous about forgetting something,,, but hopefullly i wont :-) speaking of greece every time i try to talk about my flight whenver i mention my layover in istanbul someone always references that one TMBG song... AND IT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not have the heart to tell them that i am very much aware of that song and very aware of that band though... sigh... the flight from IST to Athens is only like 30 minutes though so i don't understand why we can't just do a direct flight to Greece... anyways im CRAZY EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not exxcited to not see my girlfiend for like 10 days though... it will all be okay ☺ just lots of stuff on the brain

I am just realizing i still don't know how to use my computer.. i am only jsut now discovering the buttons above the numbers... what does f4 do.. nothing... what about f7... what is caret browsing???? whats going on,..

anyways now im home and my girlfriend jsut left... i will be so Honest this week has been awful and i dont know how to make anything better... but it will all be okay ☺ byee!!

3/2/24

song of the day - welcome to the jungle - they might be giants

wow! it's a new season! i know that springtime doesn't start until march 20th, but for me it always starts on the first of the month ☺ Springtime is my favorite season, and i'm excited for everything to start coming back to life again :-) this month and for april i'm going on two pretty big trips, so im both looking forward and nervous to those! on march 20th im leaving for greece with my school for nine days ! i got my passport yesterday and it was crazy to actually hold one in my hands,, i had never seen one in person.. it's also just crazy to think that i'm going out of the country... it'll be my first time!!! then during spring break i'll be visiting some relatives on my mom's side in michigan, which i dont really know if i'm looking forward to... it'll probably be really awkward since i haven't spoken to them since about a year after my mom's death.. which was nine years ago (wow it would have been ten years this year! that's crazy...) bbut i'm still looking forward to traveling! i love planes theyre very fun, and i'm hoping to watch a lot of movies on all the flights i have to take :-)

hmmm... this week has been a bit odd. on tuesday i missed school to go into the city and get my passport, which was fun.. kind of.. i ended up missing some kind of important classes, so i had to do the end of semester project alone for cmehstitry... but it was fine!! and then thursday i went to my girlfriend's house and had dinner with her and her mom, and then also had to do my t shot alone :0 it was scary... yesterday i went shopping with my grielfirnd too and that was fun! we didn't end up buying anything though... and then today is my neice's birthday and then tommorrow im getting a haircut... wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

umm like usual ive been making music but the more i work on it every time i end up really dislikign whatever i made.. recorded lyrics for two songs the other day but i ended up hating them... i relaly don't know what to do T_T like on one hand i want to make and release things but what's it worth if im not happy with what i'm making... oh the dilemma... ive been feeling like inspired but idk what to do now.... i;ll figure it out one day....

that's probably it for now i dont really know what else to say :P i love this blog page woww