song of the day - It's Not My Birthday - They Might Be Giants

hihihi!! its julyyY!!! so much has happened since i last wrote !!! first,, i got my hair cut today,, and it looks so good!! i woke up this mornign super nervous,, but im so happy with how it looks now ^_^ it used to be the longest it's ever been, because i hadn't cut it since around september 2021.. thats 22 months! i also have bangs now, and i havent had those in like a year! i just hope they don't grow super quickly, since i forgot to ask my hairdresser how to trim them.. super happy with my appearance now!

lately ive been at a loss at what to do.. yesterday i got super bored and i felt like i couldn't focus on anything :( i dont like going on my phone a lot but i didnt know what else to do! i mean i have a lot of options as for things to do, but it feelslike im just waiting for the days to end :( oh yeah also TV Girl released a new album and i don't really like it! another thing is that i feel like i've been kind of only seeing my girlfriend lately and it feels really isolating :( i want to hang out with my other friends but i dont like being the one 2 ask :( anyways! one of my goals this summer is to be more social, so i think i'm gonna have to try harder :P

after yesterday i did get a couple ideas for projects and stuff i wanna try! i really like making short films and stuff and i had the idea to make a music video to Erase by TMBG! i watched the official music video the other day and it was much different than what i was expecting.. i think that's one of my favorite songs by them, i finally learned how to play it on bass and i really like the concept of the song! someone on their wiki said it reminded them of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and after my friend's mom also recommended that movie to me, i wanna see it now! anyways, i have a couple ideas for it, but i'm still trying to figure out what the story should be that i wanna tell..

something else i wanna do is make stays for a renfaire in November! my bio mom and dad really liked going to rennaissance faires, and they have a lot of friends from that community ^_^ my mom wanted to get in touch with them, and we went to one last year too :-) i like going to them, but its hard to connect to people who only knew you when you were like 3... still, i wanna try this year! the fabric i wanna use is really pretty, and i'm hoping it turns out well!! i might ask my mom for help,, because she knows a lot about sewing !

what else.. OH i have a trip next week where im going south to Yucca Valley!! we're also visiting Los Angeles for two days and San Jose!!! im so excited, i haven't been to LA since i was like 9 ^_^ my aunt used to live there, and i would spend every summer there until she moved north :( also, i don't think i've ever been to a desert before, so that'll be fun! i'm debating wether or not to take my computer, my mom says no but i wanna be able to blog about it !! i would bring my journal, but also i wanna be able to put photos and stuff on here too!1 ill decide later.. we leave on Saturday and get back the following saturday,,, so yeah! we'll be visiting the Griffith Observatory, the Sanrio store,, and also some museums and parks!! gonna be so fun ♥

i think that's about it,, luv u all and goodnight ^_^


song of the day - Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

happy independence day 4 americans!! i live in america,, so ive been seeing fireworks for the past couple days... nothing like this though ^_^ theyre so pretty,, i love fireworks so much!! i do get worried for my dogs though :( today i basically spent all day with my girlfriend, we went shopping and then watched the fireworks across the city from a hill !!! it was really fun,, we also ran into our friend earlier too! my mom did make some comments though and after my gf left i got really sad and cried in the car :( its okay though,, today was still really really good!! also, it seems like a lot of people like my haircut!! i definitely do :-)

my appointment yesterday for my ednos was pretty good,, my doctor said if i 'lost progress' i wouldn't be able to take a sports class this semester :( it makes me really sad that after almost a full year i cant really decide things for myself with that :( anyways it was like fine my mom is just now more admant wwith me eating.. i feel liek she forces me to sometimes 2 ...

im kinda sad now bye

7/15/23 AKA yucca valley recap!!

Cities - Talking Heads

its been nine days, but i have a good reason! you may be wondering why that postcard changed.... its because i was on vacation to Yucca Valley for a week!! woah!! its so beautiful, and its around 400ish miles south of where i live ^_^ dont go figuring out my city though thats scary.. anyways it was really sienic there and i loved the heat!!! we went on an overnight stay in Los Angeles, and also a day trip to San Diego! Los Angeles is a really nostalgic city for me, because i used to visit there almost every summer to stay with my aunt and uncle :-) also, i just really like the city !! we went on the 10th to the 11th, and i might jst talk abt each day honestly..

- 7/8/23 -

honestly not much this day.. it ended up being a 10-hour drive and i was miserable :( i did eat dinner in Palm Springs there and it was pretty!

- 7/9/23 -

okay this day (sunday) we went to visit the Noah Purifoy Museum,, and it was so beautiful!! i lost the pamphlet but it was an outdoor sculpture museum made from found objects and its really pretty!! there were a lot of toilets though... and crosses... oh we also saw a sculpture or something and also went to a cafe! later that night we went to Wal-mart and also i picked up some pizza with my half-sister :-) shes really nice, and im happy i was able 2 hang out w her a lot !! i'll probably edit this tommorrow morning once i get my phone back and can ask about the details ^_^

- 7/10/23 -

okay this day we drove into LOS ANGELES !!!! YAYYYY okay it was really pretty and the whole time when iw as there i had Cities by the Talking Heads stuck in my head so i think that affected it in some way :P but umm we went to the Griffith Observatory and turns out i havent been there in six years!! my half sister even showed me a photo of the last time id been !!! also, we saw the Last Bookstore and we stayed in the idk i forgot the name but they filmed part of Ghostbusters and Ocean's 11 there, which was cool to see! me and my sister sadly had to sleep on the floor because there was only two beds but four of us :( still really nice! i got Earl Grey ice cream too :-)

- 7/11/23 -

this was my favorite day of the trip!!! i went to the Keith Haring exhibit at The Broad in LA!! it was so cool!! i learned a lot that i didnt know before ^_^ i bought a poster and a pin with his artists signature,, or also called the Radiant Baby :-) its so cute ^_^ then we went to the official Sanrio store and i found a cute Usuhana tote bag and also a kuromi plush for my gf!! id been trying to find something with Usuhana for a long time, since she's my favorite sanrio character ♥ also,, i wanted to get a gift for em,, so i got her that because i know it's her favorite !! the funny thing is a couple days later she @ted me on this tweet about kuromi plushies and i had to keep it a secret... i hope she likes it ^_^ we also tried ice cream in little fish cones, so that was fun until it spilled all over my hands in front of this big group of cool teenagers :( anyways after that we drove up to the Getty and despite it being really nice and pretty i got bored really quickly :( my halfsister wanted to go through the whole thing and it was fun until we got to the late middle ages when everythig was jst religiouss... im athiest and i dont know a whole lot about Catholicism so it was just really confusing :P it was beautiful though!! the gardens outside were so well-designed too i felt like i was in a movie;... afther that we met my cousin for dinner at The Grove!! i had heard a lot about him from stories with my dad, but it was nice to actually meet him ^_^ I also used to go to the grove a lot when i was younger so me and my sister bought Nonna's Empanadas there since we would get them all the tiime :-)

- 7/12/23 -

okay wednesday we went to go and visit the Joshua Tree National Park!! it was so pretty, i loved hearing about yucca and joshua trees ^_^ we had wwent into the park early in the day to know our way around, and then went back later around 7pm for a 'twilight walk' or someting i forgot but it was with a real park ranger and itw as about trees!! after that it was sunset so me and my sister climbed a bunch of rocks until she fell and sprained both her ankles... she couldnt walk but shes fine now! by the time we drove back it was nighttime and it was really nice jst looking out with the windows rolled down and listening to music :-) my eyes wouldn't stop watering thoug.. but its OK! there were less stars than i would've expected cause its the desert, but it was still nice!

- 7/13/23 -

this day was definitely weird.... so we had to go to urgent care for my sister's ankles and the doctor said she wasn't allowed to walk a lot fo rth enext three days.. which was really convenient considering we were going to the San Diego zoo later that day! so after a 2 hour drive we rented a wheelchair and carted her around the zoo.. she was really upset about it though so we went on a bus tour first though.. which made me upset beause this whole trip ive basically been stuck in the car for hours at a time... but its okay because after that she felt better!! apparently the San Diego zoo is the only zoo in the world with a Platypus!! we couldnt see it though for some reason :((( i also went to the beach for like 5 minutes with my half sister and got my pants wet from the ocean :(( that night since we got back to the airbnb super late we got some random fast food place and for some reason my sister mentioned The Ultimate Showdown (of ultimate destiny) and turns out my halfsister remembers when it released! i mean its not that crazy considering shes like a whole adult and married and everything btu still it blew my sisters mind... anyways yeah :D

- 7/14/23 -

not interesting at all really.. we got in the car super late and drove like two hours.. then dropped my halfsister off at the bus station so she could catch her flight :( there was a fire near the highway on the way back though whihc was super scary !! :O

- 7/15/23 -

woah its today... yeah again nothing i was in the car for 8 hours and then ate a burger n now im here :P it was a fun trip and im glad i went!! okay bye


song of the day - Pulled Up - Talking Heads

HIII its been soo long!! literally a week!! ummm i guess i should jst talk about my week..

sunday (16th) i went to a rosegarden with my girlfriend and we jst like hung out !!! we also got ice cream n walked a lot :P umm monday i had my first volunteer shift at the library and it was fun !! most of it was just introduction and all i have to do is jst clean the tables and computers n stuff... they also said i could do a program and i actually want to do one !! im excited to go back and actually like talk to the librarians because i realized that last time i was kind of just silent the whole time (i usually am acutally...) but i dunno abt changing that.. we'll see!! i saw mygf again after that and yeah ! tuesday and wednesday i stayed at home, and it was acutally so unfun because i didnt know what to do after i got back from my trip and i got sorta depressed wednesday !! thursday i went shopping with my friend, we went to two consignment stores and one ... trinkets store ?? the slogan was "100,000 things you don't need" and it was so cluttered but in a good way !!! there were necklaces hanging from the ceiling and vintage stamps and photos,, it was so cool!! and then friday i went to see barbie with my gf !! yayyyy!!!!! it was so good i cried !!

today i tried going to a fashion show that was supposed to be on my city's train line, but when i went there wasn't anything going on :( i watned to try seeing if any other cars had it happening, but my gf (i went with her,, i hang out w her sm im jst realizing) didnt rlly feel up to it.. instead we went into the city it was going to and got starbucks ! after we went back to OUR city we went to a consignment store and then went to target !!! then i got home and watched Die Hard 2 :-)

oh also friday i had a zoom appointment super early in the morning about my medical transition!! it was just a bunch of questions,, but i learned that depending on the surgeon you can be elegible for top surgery by 15!! they also said that it'd be easier if i went on T before then,, but im not really sure i want to go on t... i mean itd be nice but i wish i could jst see how i'd look once i'm on it :P i mean i like myself enough now,, but i know it's also way easier to pass if you are on it.. but also i do i really want it ? i've been out for almost 3 years and ive wanted top surgery since before then, but hrt im unsure about ... i cant stop thinking about it since my appointment, but they scheduled a follow-up one on October, so i have plenty of time :-)

also sorry the rest of the site isn't finished !! i had this layout planned, but lately i've been feeling kind of burnt out on neocities :( i was wanting to make each page have a unique layout and css,, so it'll take a while before it's all done ! thank you !!


song of the day - Boyish - Japanese Breakfast

hiiii hihihihihihihiiiihiihihihihihiiihihiihihih its been so long.... monday i went into the big city with my friends, and it was the first time i was out with friends past ~8pm! it was really nice seeing everyone again, i had only gotten to see one of my friends since summer started, and it was refreshing :-) also when i was volunteerign i got to help out in a little arts n crafts program where you make keychains !! i felt so out of place,, btu itwas fun :-) tuesday was the day before my girlfriend leaves for a trip to Wales, so we layed on the couch and watched movies all day to spend more time together ♥ she's gone during our 6-month anniversary too, so that just makes it worse :( shes always gone..... anyways it was fun, i always manage to lose bracelets she gives me (genuinely praying i find this one) but yeah! we watched Lady and the Tramp :D

today my mom signed our family up for a 3-hour shift at our local foodbank, so i had to wake up at like 8am :( it was fun though,, i put potatoes into little bags for three hours !!!! some random like 4th grader came over to our table to help, and he kept giving me advice on what potatoes would be rotten... im a really gullible person so i thought it was all true (if a potato is green, its NOT bad, its just seen the sun while growing) btu yeah!! after that we went to this arts museum in the big city because its free ticket day for residents of the area !! i went into a tower, and also saw a bunch of beautiful art!! i went with my moms daughter and her family along with my own mom and sister !! after we got dinner and ate at the beach :-) i loved today, it was fun despite a lot of sad stuff ^_^

lately ive been really inspired to create a lot of different things, like ive started knitting a pair of socks i started back in February, i got Kidpix 4 on my mac so ive been messing around with that (ITS SO CUTE I HEART THE SOUND EFFECts) and also ive been drawing too :-) i finished a little figurine of a cool design i saw in a lyric booklet, so that'll probably be up either on my tumblr or here once im done with the art page ! ive just been feeling really motivated ^_^

anyways love u guys !!! bye bye !!!


song of the day - Making Flippy Floppy (live) - Talking Heads

HIIII i cant believe i havent written anything in august yett!!! i should be asleep, but my mind keeps comign up with things that are making me sad... this past week has beenpretty good,, ill tell you what happened !!

so, Monday i went over and did my volunteer shift at the library, and all i did was try (and fail) to learn how to use Canva to make a sign! afterwards i was going to go to a record store but i got turned around and then freaked out a bunch aboutit .. i ended up walking for about anhour straigght until i found my bus stop again ! Tuesday i hung out with my friend, we got korean corn dogs and went to a couple stores, but didnt end up buying anything,,, then we went to her house and talked about cds ! it was fun, she also asked about being pen pals so now i have someone to send letters to again! i really like penpaling, its fun to make everythign super cutesy :-) her letter to me also had a song recommendation, so i decided to reccomend her Cities by the Talking heads, and i hope she'll like it !!!

Wednesday night i had decided to finally watch Stop Making Sense, and i had so much fun watching it!!! i loved the live versions of all the songs, theyre so talented !!! my favorites were probably Crosseyed and Painless, Burning Down the House, and umm Making Flippy Floppy (i loved all of them though)! afterwards i had really felt like i had gone to that concert, the film was really well-made and i also loved some of the effects they did! that movie just got lodged in my brain for the next couple of days, like i think that theyre probably tied with They Might Be Giants now for my favorite band ! i havent seen their documentary yet, truthfully im a little scared... anywasy, love them love once in a lifetime mwah mwah mwah also especially the backup singers theyre so talented what the hell!!!! i lvoed how they all interacted with each other it was so fun ^_^

Thursday it was suprisingly cold, and a yellow cardigan i had ordered had finally shipped, so i decided to wear that ! i tried going to the post office but left (my letter wasnt sealed and the line was long) and went to the cornerstore to get my favorite chips !! theyre the purple doritos, i always forget the name but remeber the color :PP i also facetimed my girlfriend, because it was our 6-month anniversary!!! February 3rd - August 3rd!! sadly she's still abroad, but ill get to see her again on the 7th :-) i origianlly had plans to hang out with my old friend, we hadnt seen each other for 10 months and she just flew back from Montreal! she had to cancel though, so we rescheduled for this Tuesday !

today idecided to make a mix-cd of all my favorite animal crossing music, but i didnt like how the design of the disc turned out :( today i kind of just layed around the house, and ate ice cream :PP i got so bored i ended up looking through my old yearbooks, and its weird to see how much i've changed... also i watched another episode of Good Omens, im rewatching that with my family to get caught up for the new season ! i did get spoilers though, and im sad about it :( anyways i love uu all bye !!!


song of the day - Birdhouse in Your Soul - TMBG OR Cities (Live) - Talking Heads

hiii its the eighth of august (technicallly the 9th because its 1am here but whatevrr) and today's been kind of interesting! i got boba with my old friend, we went to the same school before we graduated, and i hadnt seenher since halloween of 2022!! it was nice talking to her, but a lot of it was kind of heavy topics that she seemed too comfortable talking about.. she randomly brought up how our old classmate had overdosed a couple times and when imentioned that i had an eating disorder we started talking about that stuff kind of lighthearted... i mean it was nice being able to talk about that with someone who understands but i left feeling kind of off?? shes a cool person but i felt really triggered and just in general weird :P i probably wont see her for a while after that ! yay!

my girlfrienda slofinally got back from her trip!!! i saw her for the first time in like 13 days yesterday and it was the best!! earlier that day i had to volunteer at my local library, and i had brought my Usahana tote bag i had gotten in LA, and both the librarians complimented it !! it was really nice seeing my gf for the first time in a while, we walked around and hung out and it was really nice ^_^ that day was probably the best ive had in a while !!

i think generally my life is going pretty well, ive been pretty stressed over my house adn school coming up, but other than that its fine! i tried out beepbox the other day too, and it was super fun!! making little songs is way less hard than i thought!! i feeel like i pick up too many hobbies, a lot at the same time too... it gets a bit stressful but i think i can manage it if i dont do them all at once! just everything seems super interesting and i wanna try out everything !

also, i need ideas for games and stuff to try out! i realized i havent been on my mac in a while, and i wanna get more games/software to try outon it !! it runs os X panther (10.3.9) and ive played civilization 2 on it and kidpix 4 on it ^_^ i should actually do more with kidpix.... anyways yeah yeah!! im gonna go record shopping thursday, and friday is the very scary ed appointment... brrr anyways bye dudes !!! hope U have been having a good august because i have!!


song of the day - What a Day That Was (live) - Talking Heads

TW for disordered eating in the second paragraph! dont worry though, im fine :-)

my lifes been pretty good lately!! last thursday (the 10th) was my mom's birthday, but that day i went shopping with my girlfriend and we spent like almost the whole day togther! she wanted to sell some of her clothes at the local consignment store, adn we went to a couple record stores to find something for my mom :-) i got two Oingo Boingo cds, and Perennial Favorites by Squirrel Nut Zippers for my mom! she recommended me that band a while ago, and i saw how pretty the packadging itwas, so i had to get it! i got Nothing to Fear on cd which waslike four dollars, but the lyric page was stuck together and i was upset about it :( i also got Dead Man's Party which was in much better condition! i didnt like that album when i first listened to it, but now its like one of my favorites! Nothing to Fear was also one of my favorite albums last summer, and it brings back a lot of memories ^_^

friday was another checkup appointmetn about my eating,, and it went oddly well,.. i was worried about it because i hadnt rlly been doing wellwith like.. eating enough and also mentally because i got super triggered on tuesday with my old friend,, but they said i was fine.?? i had lost some weight but not enough to where theyre concerned and i can still do p.e. this semester! yayy!! it did feel like they were a bit ~disappointed~ in me about it and thats one of the reasons i dont wanna talk about it to my therapist.. everyone says theyre not controlling and theyre proud until i say its hard to not relapse... but ill try to stay strong! like i know its really bad for me and i absolutely in no way encourage that behavior but its really hard to get out of it once you start :P ughghjkhskfjhsfhsfh itll be fine i hope

yesterday there was the Perseid meteor shower, so i had plans to go up to a hilly park and watch it!! i went with my family, my moms friend, and my girlfriend! me and her sat on the top of my car, and it was really fun!! i only saw like three or four shootign stars, but it was still worth it ^_^ it was also really cold..... brrrr it was so windy whhh

today i jst hung aroundmy house,, wentto ulta to get some hair products but i found the most beautiful nail polish! its clear, with rainbow-colored specks in it !! im excited to use it, but i have to wait until the polish i have on my nails now chips beyond repair... also it was SO HOT like 80 degrees!! my room also heats up really quickly and it became unbearable at one point :( i had some ice cream and it was fine though ^_^ thanks and bye bye!!


song of the day - Remember My Name - Mitski

HIII i cant believe its been five days!! every time i think to blog its been about a week.... anyways today was good,, i went to my beginning-of-the-year orientationfor my school, and it was fine! afterwards i hung out with two of my friends and my girlfriend, which was super fun! the orientation itself ended at noon, so we were jst doing stuff for about 4 hours ^_^ we went to two record stores and i bought a Stranger In the Alps cd for 16.99!(it was a bit expensive but this is one of my favorite albums like EVER Ssoo) and then we got pizza and then we walked aroundin a drainage tunnel under our local university campus! it was really wet (duh) and i got my shoes and socks all gross :( later today i had to go to a baseball game, and after all that i'm totally exhausted! i realized i only got 5 hours of sleep last night and ive been out and about all day, so im like gonna press save and then just pass out!! i took 15,126 steps today too.... :((

yesterday was uneventful, but the day before (the the 16th) i wentto the beach and a local naval base with my girlfirned!! we listened to Solar Power by Lorde and it was really nice just throwing wet sand at the ocean! that's just my favorite activity to do at the beach other than to swim, but we didntbring swimsuits or towels and also we took the bus so it'd be difficult :( i think that album (obviously) really encapsulates what summer feels like, and a couple of the tracks ljust like make my heart hurt... (STONED AT THE NAIL SALON IM LITERLAYYFJHjKHFKAFKJSH) but simultaneously i think it's really beautiful that music can like evoke those feelings !!!

OHH also today while i was at the record store i saw a bunch of vinyls for the Stop Making Sense 2023 remasters and ireally wanna listen to it but also at the same time idk how different it's gonna be.... or if i should wait to get the CD to listen to it>..... im like totally obsessed withthat album right now though and i keep wanting to rewatch the film (i don't though, becuase i know ill just get tired of it), its just so well made and it brings such a new life to liek every song!! usfjhkjhfkhkasjfhkjfsdh i love that band!!!!!!!!!

Despite it being August my mind keeps wanting to prepare for halloween already... ive started making a list for movies i wanna watch when it gets closer to that time,, but i dont know what i should do for my costume! there's plenty of fun things comign up and also in September that i should probably focus on first though.... so much fun stuff!

i cant think of anyting else to say!! ill try to redo another main page soon i hope!! byebye!!!


song of the day - Once in a Lifetime (live)- Talking Heads

HELLO HELLO its been a while!!!! last week starting saturday my internet went down, and i had to use a lot of data from my smartphone :( also because i have time restrictions on my phone after 10:30/11pm i had the chance to listen to a lot of my cds! last monday i also got invisalign (finally) and it was difficult to adjust to wearing it, but im definitely used to it now!

this past tuesday i went on my school's fall camping trip!!! we went about 2 hours upstate and the camp was pretty nice!!! all the activities we did were really interesting, i signed up for candlemaking, beadworking twice, glass fusing, and archery!! i love archery, and candlemaking was really fun too :-) i made an apple!!! the camp itself was pretty spaced out, having cabins in different neighborhoods, and they didnt have paper towels at all :( i also didnt shower at all (i usually dont) so it got a bit uncomfortable :( i was in a cabin with all my friends and i talked to more people than usual so it was fun! there were a lot of wasps and stuff around the food whenever we had mealtimes, and also because of my invisalign i didnt really eat that much during the trip :P plus i got into a bit of a misunderstanding with my girlfriend and itwas kind of the same as the last camping trip i wwent on... it was easier to manage though and we talked about it :-) its hard having to go to the same school as your partner and i got some advice from a friend about what to do so yeah! its great!

this school year is the first since i was like 11 that im going to the same school and i know people for more than a year! yayy!!! im excited to see people again, and also to take some of the classes im doing! im taking Pilates, Algebra 2, Geometry, French 4, Chemistry, U.S. History, and English Composition!!! exciting!!! im doing two math classses this year because last year i started a class behind, and i watned to be able to max-out my math credits while im in high school ^_^ I think this fall is also gonna be way better than the last one, and im hoping i can stay on track of all my schoolwork :-)

today i went to the farmers market this morning withmy mom, and we got a bunch of produce i love! my favorite fruit are peaches, and we also got strawberries and pluots (?) and pesto!!! later i babysat my niece and we went to the park and some stores!! also, my mom had bought me my dream pair of shoes!!! they fit perfectly, and they have almost a 2inch platform making me 5'6 :-) the shoe is the Dr Martens Flower Power daisy oxford !!!! they were really expensive thoguh and my mom had gotten them secondhand but i am so happy i own them!!!! hearts and love!!!!!!

that's about it for this one.... i dunno if ill be making a lot of changes to my site in the next couple of weeks because i start school this monday but we shall see... i hope your augusts have been good !! bye!!